We tracked down McCain for a comment on his surgery:

"I understand the risks of such a surgery, I am told I have a 30% chance of permanent neck elasticitis. My friends, I will not back down from this, just as I didn't back down from my belief that we needed more troops in Iraq. I laid my neck on the line then, and I'm doing it again, now. We need a stiff nec- I mean support from the men and women of America that we can win this war, and that we won't flee like cowards in the face of so great a terror as Iraq."

The smiling McCain entered the hospital moments later, smiling and shaking hands with the doctors.

McCain to undergo tests to solve neck crisis

With his belief that the Republican nomination is safely under his belt, McCain has decided to use part of his remaining campaign finances to undergo neck surgery with the famous neck surgeon, Dr. Greg Prere.

rise of the jowls

21:53:17 [dkk3o] mccain is so awesome looking
21:53:19 [dkk3o] like
21:53:21 [Knifin] yeah
21:53:25 [dkk3o] his face is sinking into his jaw
21:53:26 [iclouds] he has jowls of pure flesh
21:53:30 [dkk3o] lol
21:53:34 [Knifin] love it
21:53:36 [Knifin] want to touch it
21:53:43 [dkk3o] he has jowls of the flesh of the young
21:53:52 [cracka.ant] lol
21:54:00 [cracka.ant] i can't believe hes like 990 years old

Researchers are beginning to wonder if his neck was morphed because of his erratic jaw movements into more of a jelly like substance that can stretch and recede at will. It gives the appearance of a neck at times, but normally it provides a "cushion for the skull to rest in," as one scientist puts it. This might be why, when at a rest, his head appears larger and more square than normal.

Ladies and Gentleman, a mystery has arisen out of the ashes of the presidential race. A profound puzzle piece missing in one of the many republicans running this race. We are of course talking about John McCain's neck. Where has it gone?